So you’re cruising this ocean called love, looking for the perfect fish to complete that ‘fish in the sea’ metaphor.  At first, it seems relatively harmless.  After all, we’re all in the same ocean, drinking the same water, eating the same plankton, and other fishy things.  For the first few dates, everything seems great.  You’re in the honeymoon phase, and your crush is perfect.  Sweet, nice, fun to be around, someone you think about way too much.

Then you cross that threshold.  When you’re no longer trying to impress your significant other and start showing off your weird side.  Some people have an army of stuffed squirrels in their garage; others reveal their World of Warcraft obsession on the fifth date.  But one of the most common problems that can stir up trouble in paradise is politics.

What can you do?  It’s not very practical to give your crush a checklist beforehand.  Check the box for Republican or Democrat, Pro-choice or Pro-life, do you believe in global warming?  That is a guaranteed way to kill the magic of the moment.  So, unfortunately, it more often rears its ugly head once you’ve already started dating.

I’ve had some experiences like this, and it caused a few problems.  After all, I can get awfully passionate about politics.  I actually had to consider whether the differences were enough to be a deal breaker.  It was some pretty fundamental stuff and led to quite a few arguments.

Are these types of relationships doomed to fail?  I don’t think so.  Political differences can really make you question what’s important to you.  A passionate belief, or someone you really care about.  It gets better when the argument is over and you realize, hey, our beliefs aren’t that different.  We both want the best for people, for the country, we just have different ways of going about it.  Once you sort through all the propaganda and angry rhetoric, it’s easy to see that regardless of the person or party, people are genuinely good.

Of course, not all differences can be overcome.  I can’t imagine some Romeo and Juliet tale of a socialist and a tea partier falling head over heels for each other.  Sometimes, the differences are too fundamental.  These political arguments can often get down to the root of who people are, their culture, and when you start bashing their views, you’re really slapping their heritage in the face.  It doesn’t seem this way at first.  If you’re a democrat who’s always dated democrats, you’re probably going to rage about the stupidity of some republicans you knew in high school who drove big trucks and always talked about hunting and had a confederate flag on their wall.  It’s only afterward that you realize how much you just belittled the culture of your conservative girlfriend.  It’s not cut-and-dry, black-and-white when you’re in a relationship like this.  You can’t organize people into us and them or you’ll be digging a pretty big ditch between you and her.

Sometimes, it’s worth giving up your principles, being a little less judgmental, and just allowing yourself to be happy with someone.  Are your ideals so important that you’d rather sit alone in your room reading political articles than cuddling with your significant other and trying to see things another way?  I can say from experience that the latter is definitely worth the risk.