September 30th, 2012, was the night of a full moon. While some may see this phenomenon as beautiful, lighting up an otherwise dark and scary night, the full moon holds hidden dangers as well. It has long been believed that Director of Creative Writing Marianne Zarzana is in fact a werewolf. These rumors have been ignored for years, until a student witnessed something on the 30th.
It was a Thursday, and Professor Zarzana was not in class on that day. A student of hers, Billie Long, a psychology major and senior at SMSU, desperately needed help on an article for his Intro to Journalism class. Zarzana prides herself on an open door policy for students who need help, so he proceeded to her office, and knocked.
“The door was open,” Billie said. “But the lights were off. I was a little worried, because Professor Zarzana never misses class, so I decided to check inside.” The rest of the experience was a blur to Billie. “I don’t even know what happened. I just heard this growling, and then it was a mess of teeth and fur. I barely got out of there alive.”
Having been at this school for four years, Billie had heard these incessant rumors nearly every day, but thought nothing of it.
“I honestly thought it was just a big joke with the faculty. Like the fact that Professor McLean has a crossbow and silver tipped arrows in her office, or that time when James Zarzana was heard making a barking noise at her.” The barking noise was arguably similar to that of a dog, a distant cousin of the werewolf. It is unknown if James Zarzana is also a werewolf.
When asked for comment, Professor Zarzana denied any claims of her being a supernatural being.
“I think I’d remember something like that,” she said. “I mean, I know there’s some legends that claim werewolves have no memory of their transformation, but come on. I’m married. I think Jim would have noticed something like that.” When asked about the encounter that Billie experienced, she had this to say about it: “I’m pretty sure he walked into Professor Smith’s office by mistake. He had brought his bull dog to school with him on the 30th, I think.”
But the rumors would not go away. They only intensified in the coming week, especially when a pair of bloody and very stylish leather boots was found in the trashcan outside the Walt Whitman room. These are believed to belong to Danielle Dobesh, mentee for Zarzana and possible first victim. Students now believe that Dobesh may have been turned into a werewolf herself.
Dobesh was not available for comment. Also, she did not take well to being poked with a silver spoon, although she did not sizzle or burn the way a werewolf might be expected to.
