After years of being jokingly included as a write-in candidate, Disney’s most famous character has decided to run for president. Mr. Mouse announced this last week at Disney world, in front a crowd of cheering fans. After that, Mickey Mouse hat sales went through the roof, and seem to have become the iconic way of showing support for the candidate, possibly the first Rodent-American president.
The public has been buzzing about it ever since. The Disney Channel feared that this decision would provoke Nickelodeon into doing something similar. In an attempt to prevent this, Mr. Mouse offered to make a popular Nickelodeon star, Dora the Explorer, his running mate. This would not only appeal to the Nick voting base, but the minority and female vote as well.
However, this did not stop the brewing storm. The golden child of the rival network, Spongebob Squarepants, announced his candidacy shortly after. The media went crazy, and the two are plaaned to shared a cover of Time Magazine, with the caption ‘The Generation of Animation’.
Political strategists say that Mickey Mouse will appeal to the older voters who grew up with him. His massive corporate backing will be a staple in the race as well. Yet Spongebob undeniably has the younger vote. His show is said to be ‘more modern’, geared towards this generation, and may cause a surge of new voters.
Mr. Squarepants also has overwhelming support from the gay community, mostly based on the rumors that he himself is gay. Though he appreciated the support, Mr. Squarepants denied the claims in a speech.
“I’m not really sure what everyone’s talking about,” he said. “I’m a sponge. I reproduce by budding, so I don’t even have an orientation. Besides, that’s not what’s important in this election. I’m ready to take on those industries polluting the oceans and overfishing. I’m ready to hear your voices, both those below the sea and on land. I’m ready!”
All the attention on these two main candidates has received criticism from the third party, Cartoon Network, who officially announced their nomination of Dexter, retired star of Dexter’s Lab.
“I’m the most logical candidate for President in this election,” he told the press in an interview. “Really, is there any difference between the other two candidates? Is there any difference between their networks? They’re both the same, both ill-prepared to run this country. One of them is a fry cook. I, Dexter, am a boy genius. I understand what this country needs to move forward, and that is more emphasis on our math and science programs in schools.”
The Dexter Campaign has been pushing for a spot at the presidential debates, but it seems that the tradition of keeping it exclusive to the two main candidates will be maintained. On top of that, Dexter’s chances were hurt by lack of publicity, and the confusion between him and Dexter Morgan, everyone’s favorite serial killer.
