It may have taken quite some time, but the students here at Southwest Minnesota State University have finally gotten their act together. Studies show that underage drinking on campus has plummeted, while those of age are imbibing their alcohol exclusively at bars. In the past few weeks, Public Safety has investigated dorms and apartments for noise complaints, only to find a rowdy game of charades or a Wii: Just Dance party, no alcohol in sight. It looks like the fact that it’s a dry campus has finally soaked in to those young minds.

That’s right, all those hangovers and oddly named shots are under the table now. Now the Student Activities Committee doesn’t have to cleverly place on campus events on Thursday Nights! It’s not Thirsty Thursdays anymore. With all that extra time on our hands, we can do other fun things. After all, the word Thursday comes from Norse culture, named for the god of thunder. Let’s watch Thor on Netflix! Finally the end of our week isn’t about getting hammered.

Or you can head to the Goodwill in town, make it a thrifty Thursday. You know, pop some tags and all that. Fill your dorm room with creepy ceramic statuettes and tasteful art instead of empty Vodka bottles and puke. Another option is the more religious route. On-campus religious organizations have been plastering posters everywhere on campus, getting the word out about theological Thursdays. Get buzzed on Bible readings, get drunk on Jesus! (Not literally, of course, please take Communion responsibly).