Presidential Parade

Recently, news got out that President Trump wanted to host a military parade to showcase the prowess of the United States.

The idea came when President Trump watched a Bastille Day parade in France. From there, talks have reportedly explored ideas but none have come to fruition—until now.

Parades have typically marked the end of wars or celebrated national holidays, but President Trump wants to follow in France’s footsteps. However, several sources have voiced the opinion that since America is a very powerful country, having a parade to show our power off is loudly declaring our insecurities.

Unfortunately for the President, a peculiar phenomenon seems to be afflicting our military anway. Its called Green Man Syndrome. Specifics about the virus are unknown. All that is known is that seemingly healthy members of the military are overnight replaced with smaller, plasticine green army soldier counterparts.

It is unknown if there is a cure to this virus or how it is spread. The parade has been indefinitely postponed.